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[Jun. 29th, 2006|03:41 pm] |
third day of college i missed this week. really wanted to go today, but it got to 1 o' clock & i realised that leaving the house would mean getting on a bus and sitting in a Regatta Traffic Jam and I just can't DEAL with that so I stayed home. Means I won't have any sunglasses to wear to France but it's probably going to be raining and grey anyway.
France is really pissing me off. I really DON'T want to go. It's especially annoying that Nuala's not coming anymore. Neither are FT and James. UGH. I'm going to be trapped with loads of girls and a few wanky boys and everyone's going to go stir fucking crazy and spend 90% of their time bitching. Even David's not going to be there. I hate him, but at least if he were there I could relieve tension by laughing at every idiotic thing that comes dribbling out of his mouth. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't this week, but this is the one week I've been looking forward to. After this it's a big vast empty summer of nothingness - I know it'll get filled up, I'm not worried about not having anything to do but I like to start things off the right way with a series of exciting events. Good gigs, the regatta and that party would have been a good way to go.
Last night I had a little sob-fest. TIME OF THE MONTH induced, no doubt. It was really pathetic. What was nice though, was that my Dad really wanted to make me feel better. He made me a cup of tea (even though I don't like tea) and brought it down to the end of the garden for me and asked if there was anything he could do. He even tried to give me some money. Just because he thought it would help. Obviously, there was nothing he could do but it's the first time in ages he's ever attempted to do anything. The fact he thought money would help probably says a lot about him, but it's not his fault that he doesn't really understand stuff like that and I'm quite touched that he tried. Was good to cry - I don't think I have in at least a few months. Sat on a bench at the end of the garden and watched the sun set behind the fields at the back of the house. Had I not been so snotty and alone, it would have been quite romantic. Not really sure what I was crying about - although I have been worrying a lot about James. He's on a mission to hunt down the guys that beat him up the other night. He's an idiot. He lost three teeth. Got a black eye and lots and lots of cuts and bruises. He had a picture of himself after it, he looked like a lost little boy. And instead of telling the police he reckons he's going to teach them a lesson himself. He's an idiot. He's either going to end up in prison himself, or brain damaged/dead, depending on who "wins". Not that he'll listen. ARGH. i suppose other boy stuff contributed too. everything else is wonderful as ever though. alice's midsummer dreams party was lovely. all the girls looked so beautiful, and the boys were all dressed up. i felt really proud of everyone, and sort of safe and content. It was like being with family. Then on Alice's actual birthday we got take away and played Cranium. It was really chilled out and nice. Was slightly worried her Dad might get pissed off by the massive number of joints being passed around but he didn't notice. Hmm. Lovely lovely.
I only got reminded of, and thus am writing on, my LJ today because I was reading one of Ed's faker's Xangas. Like. Mate. What an absolute maniac. He'd made up stories to go with all the photos, it was really crazy. He must have no friends in real life. Literally, no friends, or he wouldn't feel he had to do that. Either that, or he's a paedophile. Anyway, my point is: I read that and then decided to fill my LJ in. I'm inspired by a complete loony. Upsetting. I'm going down to the river now, I haven't seen anyone all day and I'm getting cabin fever. And I only smoked a few cigarettes today. Get me.
xx |
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| college |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|07:53 pm] |
recently, i have been thinking too much about the wrong things. last night whilst lying in bed i had an identity crises, relating to the fact that i'm just another product of society and another victim to all the capitalists, their brain washing tactics and various idealogical state apparatus. thankfully, i climbed back out of my arse just in time to begin panicing about the absurd speed my life is currently rushing past me at. problem is, time flies when you're having fun. this leaves no time between all the fun for doing actual work. i've got my exams in about a month, which seems ages away, but bearing in mind this time four weeks ago was emma's birthday, it really isn't long at all. and then when this year's gone, everyone will be going to london.
i will be left all alone.
i don't know what i'll do; i miss amy/issy/abi/grog and of course, everyone else from Oxford and i last saw them a week/two weeks ago. how will i survive months at a time?! i probably won't. and then i've got uni. OH GAWD. i'm so behind and unorganised. to make things worth, the only action i've taken so far to remedy the situation has been to write this. i can't think of many things that would be less constructive.
i suppose i should at least be thankful for the fact i know some amazing people, EVEN AT COLLEGE. today adam snapped my last cigarette (which i crumbled up into his coffee and then got to watch him drink); ben then gave me HIS last cigarette. i consider that one of the top 5 nicest things a person can do, along with donating organs and so on. that sort of thing makes me feel better about certain people not being around so much, but it's clearly not enough.
i think maybe i should run away to london too, i'll read loads of books and political essays and then everyone will be amazed and impressed when they learn i'm a drop out. i'll blackmail some hot editor into giving me a job, and then all will be fine and dandy. what an excellent plan.
i see no flaws.
uuuuuuuuuugh. and now my ranting has to be curtailed because my mother wants to come and order me some rubbish birthday present on amazon that i'm going to have to pretend to appreciate on saturday, when i'll be so hungover i might die.
aaaaacccccceeee!
xxx
p.s someone come to a communist rally with me soon. we can wear berets! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|09:17 pm] |
Here are two facts it is important for you to know to understand this story:
My friend Kev has OCD. Well, not officially, but to all intents and purposes he does.
I am a twat.
At college on Monday I licked his arm to wind him up. Being the nutter that he is this meant he had to leave the room, go to the toilet and wash his arm. Whilst he was gone, I decided it would be REALLY funny to stick some chewing gum on his chair: He'd be too grossed out to flick it off, and obviously he couldn't sit on it. So he'd have to walk to the opposite side of the room and get a chair, without Alasdair noticing because then he'd have to DOB ME IN and that's obviously against "the code". All of which would be amausing for Ben and I to observe/ So basically he came back and sat on it. Which I hadn't even considered a possibility. I was a bit scared to tell him, so Ben and I had to sit there with our hands stuffed in our mouth trying not to fall off our chairs laughing. Eventually, Kev discovered the chewing gum and said; "I'm going to get you guys back so bad. I'm not even joking. SO bad. It'll be legendary, watch your backs". I am consequently terrified. At school in Paris, Kev planted a load of cocaine on a guy he didn't like, put slug killer in the school dinners, did something that resulted in three guys peeing themselves during assembly - can't remember what, and put so much laxative in a teachers coffee that they had to go to hospital with dehydration.
I AM VERY SCARED.
he is clearly insane, with no concept of boundaries or loyalty or a conscience. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2006|06:21 pm] |
LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
please, for the love of god, someone lock me up at night.
o
h
d
e
a
r
and i've developed the most ridiculous crush on the most unsuitable person ever. it's stupid beyond my powers of articulation. i might have to just kill myself now; one stone, many, many birds. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2006|02:13 pm] |
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Emma's cocktail party was fucking brilliant. It was so nice to be with everyone again, just all of us. So good that it didn't even matter that I had no cherry lambrini. I drank lots and lots of cocktails and then some "Extreme" Ouzo (Ew-zo). What is with foreign drinks that taste like aniseed? Ew. That stuff was KILLER. Quite soon I was playing the flute (incorrectly), making increasingly disgusting/alcoholic cocktails and dancing like I wanted to scare people. ( blah blah blah ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|07:16 pm] |
I should point out now for anyone who remains unaware how brilliant cameras are; they are BETTER THAN FRIENDS. No one would come out and play in the snow with me so I had to grab the old Samsung and it was easily as good as having a real person there to spaz with. Not a word of a lie. Anyway, words are quite frankly insufficient to express the sheer excitement I was feeling so thank GOD I have pictures to document the fun:
( click if you think you're hard enough (final warning: THERE REALLY ARE FUCKING LOADS OF PHOTOS) ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 25th, 2006|04:55 pm] |
I just spent some time with my family and quite enjoyed it. Bearing in mind I write about alcohol fuelled nights that are no different to any other alcohol fuelled nights and are at most vague memories I thought this deserved a mention.
Firstly, check it out!:
That's Auntie Jackie, she's sound. Then Daddy. Awh? My Grandma, bless her - and then my Granddad. His name's Roy but most people call him Boy because he acts like a child. As this picture would attest.
And here's Grampy and Joe. He's my cousin. Quite sweet but as far as I'm concerned a bit of a retard. 2 and a half and barely speaking? That'll be his mother's side (from Birmingham, she is);
Jack and Grandma. My Grandma doesn't have myspace so she doesn't know how to pose. Also, she's quite drunk. Aaaand my brother always smiles like a smarmy, sycophantic arse.
Check the lush kitchen! Mmm, work that lino. This is Joe again. He may be a retard but he KNOWS HOW TO PARTY! I tied a scarf around his neck, he decided he was batman. Pretty funny, really.
Jack and Joe, discussing their latest conquests. Probably.
WATCH THAT KID GO! This is a post-chocolate cake photo. Getting the fucker to stand still was far beyond my capabilities. So, here's his "cape", flapping in the wind.
Scary?
More Bat-Laden than Batman. (& countdown! yeah!)
One conundrum later and he's still there, unable to move.
Anyway, screw the photos; there's also an AMAZING video featuring Joe as Batman. Unfortunately, the floor was mighty slippery and it's possible my camerawoman skills leave a small amount to be desired. Highlights include Jackie's/my weird laughing and Joe wandering into a wall in his excitement.
http://www.youtube.com/?v=MdjdwKSrq_o (I strongly advise you watch it. I'll be sad otherwise)
I'm now going to bed because I'm so ill I can only breathe with my mouth open and chasing/piggg backing/play fighting toddlers is fairly knackering. V. gutted to be missing the Cellar - I NEED some alcohol and loads of people were going to be out and UGH. My mum kept giving me rum and black earlier - not much appreciated. Slaters x x x x |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|08:18 pm] |
This weekend was funny. I was hoping to have an early night on Friday; I really should have known that me plus a Wilkinson is most definitely not a recipe for sobriety. Slightly gutted we didn't go to the cinema. Obviously, crayfish chats and hot chocolate compensated. Went back to Issy's with cider. Attempted to watch the Breakfast Club. Naaaaaaaah. Then we watched Urban Legends, later in the night when i decided to wander around Islip in order to destroy garden ornaments I regretted that. I was expected knives in my back at any second. So I went back to Abi and jumped in her bush (hohoho - the horticultural variety). It was ace. We consumed at least four bottles of wine (possibly more) and countless cigarettes. I rang directory enquiries on the most amazing phone in the world, "Hi, I'm writing a book and I need to find another word for 'gay'. My friend suggested turd-burglar but I'm not sure. Any ideas...?". After much discussion with her colleague Julie, the nice lady came up with "Bender". Awh. Yeah, and then it was the next morning. Somehow. Woke up to discover that after I'd collapsed in Tom's bed, Abi had decided to cut herself an art fringe. HAHAHA. We made eggs and discussed spring rolls. Found that at some point I'd tried to steal a dumb bell (why??). We went into Oxford at about 2, played connect four at the train station and abi moaned constantly about how she'd become everything she hated, looks like a belle and sebastian fan. Blaaah. I like it, though. Visited Issy. Wandered around Oxford ("QUELLE BOOTS!") being scared by all the people and clinging to each other in still-drunken camaraderie. With Issy's blessing we went to get a half of cider - but then figured we might as well have a "whole hair of dog, instead of just half...". This brilliant logic rendered me nigh on incapacitated, talking bollocks to an old school friend on the bus. Vomited outside the ballet school (mmm) and then accidentally called my mother a cunt. Staggered into the shower, some clean clothes and into the car so I could go and see OTHER Abi ready for her birthday meal. Arrived, met lovely German Julia and opened weird cocktails, archers shnappzzzzzz and margarita stuff. Lucy, Katherine, Mike, Meadows, Hamish and Ben arrived. And then the LIMO came and I was well over-excited. Obviously, with names like "Hamish", the others are all loaded and were completely non-plussed. Drove around Oxford listening to club remixes of every amazing song ever and drinking complimentary champagne. and vodka. got to old orleans, wrote rude things all over the table cloth and harassed the waiter with Katherine. They also gave us champagne, and huge jugs of cocktails on the house. Lots of other people were there, but I can't really remember their names. Except for GOR! yeah. Go Gor! Abi's hot so basically it was a bunch of hot posh boys with silly names. I realised I was drunk after giving the waitress some of my champagne (she was ace) and forgetting whether I was supposed to be going up or down the stairs midway. Then the cake came, I played Connect 4 with the miscellaneous males (who were all actually very nice) and THRASHED Meadows. Gutted. Then they all went to Mood or somewhere along those lines and Kathryn and I staggered/slid along to the Zodiac. "hello bella"/"laaaaaaaaaadies"/"I'M GOING TO HUG A BIN!"/sick boy/pervert man/me falling over/walking down the iffley road. oops?/french/german accents. It was a thrill a minute. Kathrine was overjoyed to see the "Adonis" bouncer on the door, he was almost as great as mike/mark/whatever my favourite one's called. Then there was lots of alcohol and my sharona and dancing and abi (wilkinson) vomming in the sink causing hannah and i to vomit, too. mmm. And an unusla proportion of hot men. OH AND PEOPLE MAKING ME LIMBO. and me doing it but then slipping over at the end, thus totally ruining my achievement. and a scary man filming me. and an evil evil wench trying to get me thrown out because she knows how old I am. Fair enough if she didn't serve me but I've spoken to her and made a real effort to be nice to her despite the fact that all instincts suggested I should do otherwise. She sent the bouncers over to ID me, but, either they accidentally ID'd Abi (w) OR they're amazing and knew she meant me but because it was Adonis and my favourite one decided to be amazingly nice. Went upstairs for a while, was actually well good up there. Hannah found someone more drunk than us to look after. I laughed at her. Horrible person that I am. Aaaand then Abi (birthday girrrrrl) was in the Zodiac and Take That was playing and there was a mini cab waiting outside and I had to go and I was well confused. Got in the taxi, to find everyone else kind of sleepy and quiet. I was immensely hyper and kept rolling off my seat. How annoying. And then Johnny rang to hear the noise Ed makes. And then I had to play "the quiet game". Aaand Abi and I had a rather fun fight in her bed and, basically, looked like complete lesbians but it was fiiiine. Had lots of fags out of her window. Ben and Meadows found a brown stain in Abi's bed and I laughed so much I've totally lost my voice. Meadows and I started/finished a bottle of lambrini and a bottle of pinot grigio. Played about 6 million games of connect 4. he won one. Gutted again. Then we decided to do the sheisha. Spent about 20 minutes trying to make it work, and eventually gave up. Everyone snored. The boys left at like 8 in the morning for their important rugby match and I tried to read up my torn up copy of nightshift that was for some reason strewn all over Abi's room. Gave up. Had a really long wee. Went downstairs and was ever so close to vomiting when the girl on Hollyoaks did. Then my mum came and picked me up, and I came home and fell asleep leaning against the stairs. I still feel ill. This weekend has been so bad for my liver, I'm finally sober after about 46 hours of utter intoxication. Still, I made a conscious effort to behave myself and all things considered I think I controlled myself very well.
EDIT: have just realised Chris, one of the boys there, was the one who puked all over the back of my bus seat a couple of months ago. HAAAAAAA. If only I'd worked that out sooner... |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|10:28 am] |
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"Oh I wish it could be Georgia'sbirthday every day!
Yesterday we all went out for Grog's birthday, because she turned the big 1-6. My present was amazing. Probably the best thing she got, but without the probably.
Eliot, Stu, Ross & Rosie couldn't come BUT IT WAS ALL OKAY. Because Jake&Amy&Issy&Joe&Biggs&Lucy&Rob&Alex&Gavin & I were there and we're all quite brilliant. Hohoho! We started the day in a nice, traditionally 16 year old way and bought vodka, cider and fosters. Then we went to shitty parks and drank. Issy and I managed to get drunk on two cans of strongbow because we're total lightweights and decided we were not going to tell anyone - because obviously they wouldn't notice unless we told them. Actually I think everyone was at least tipsy because we'd drunk it all super-fast and I'm sure your liver doesn't work as well in the morning, Or something. Then we met Joe in town and had to go buy his CLIFF RICHARD calendar he got Grog - although I'm not sure if he got one in the end because Issy and I urgently had to pee. I fell both up and down the stairs, and Issy decided to come in the same cubicle as me. Um... THEN Lucy had the amazing idea that we ask the carol singers on Cornmarket to sing "Happy Birthday" for Georgia and so we asked them and they did and it was a very special moment. We eventually made it to the bus stop and got on the bus and the bus driver WOULDN'T LET AN OLD MAN WITH AN EYE PATCH ON! Which I thought was a bit mean/funny. Then I had ltos of Amy's vodka on the bus and sat on the floor and accidentally shouted "is he blind?" about this mine who was talking to Jake and giggled openly at the funny Chinese man sat next to Gavin. Seriously, he looked like the Buddha. Um, and then we were at our stop, so as you'd expect we got off. And then swore after the bus at the townies sat at the back who'd been telling us to "sort your life out!". Which was a bit rich coming from Blackbird Leys dwelling chavs. Gavin had to run off and pee, and by the time we got to the bowling place so did the rest of us (i think it's important to know these things). Issy and I drank our last cans of Strongbow and Biggs and Lucy and I did some amazing graffiti;
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0002.JPG>
<img src=http://img5.picsplace.to/img5/15/DSCI0003.JPG>
<img src=http://img5.picsplace.to/img5/15/DSCI0004_000.JPG>
(mine said "GROG IS MY HERO! (and issy and biggs and lucy)". Sadly you can't really appreciate the brilliance of that piece of graffiti. However you can appreciate the drunkness of Issy so it's all good.
Spent most of the time bowling smoking in the bar - and in fact making bar stuff give us half full beers they were taking off other tables (eeew Lucy!). Disgusting as this was I suppose it did the job. I got a spare AND ALMOST A STRIKE TWICE! I've decided that actually, if you go drunk, and smoke lots, bowling is fuuun! Twice I bowled my ball when the metal thing that sorts the pins out was down and so it rebounded and drifted around in the middle of the alley until the staff came and fetched it. They clearly hated us with our middle class manners and our stupid haircuts.
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0006.JPG>
That's me handing my shoes in. As you can see Joe's looking very excited about the whole thing, in the background.
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0007.JPG>
And there's Gavin...scratching.
SUDDENLY bowling was finished and Biggs and Alex won with 115 POINTS! WELL DONE BIGGS AND ALEX! I don't know how I remember that, but I'm impressed with me. The best bit of bowling was hanging around in the bar afterwards. I stuck a sanitary towel on Amy's back to show Gavin it was funny. I really think it is. Then we stole balloons and had helium and generally behaved really immaturely. Issy and I asked a man for directions and he told us to go straight across the car park and follow the street lights. This wasn't particularly helpful as there were street lights EVERYWHERE and the car park was roughly the size of Wales. To make us feel better we womenfolk took a picture of ourselves. This calmed us down a lot.
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0009.JPG>
Still we eventually got on the bus, and then off the bus, and then to Noodle Bar! CONGRATULATIONS STRAWSON PARTY! With a ratio of 1 sober person to 6 drunks we managed to negotiate our way across Oxford without losing, hurting, or killing anyone! We'z da bomb, chaps.
Noodle bar was funny. I MET GEORGIA'S MUM. She's brilliant and French like she's supposed to be. Alex taught me to use chop sticks and it won't be long now before I'm a fully functioning member of society. To show how grateful I was that he'd imparted this knowledge I did his make up for him.
I think the blue really brought out the ginger of his hair...
<Img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0013.JPG>
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0012.JPG>
As you can see, Lucy was also having a lovely time (maybe because we'd just met WINDOW MAN! who'd offered us some weed. Or perhaps it was after Leon the paedophile who I thought was "really, really nice". gross):
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0011.JPG>.
Joe then got hold of my camera...:
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0016.JPG>
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0015.JPG>
LOL SUP ISSY YOU DRUNKARD!?!
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0014.JPG>
Then some guy shoved through us when we were stood outside the NB after our meal, and Lucy and I told him this was RUDE. Well, she did, I just rambled incoherently. It's possible the three glasses of wine I had in the Noodle Bar were my downfall.
Then Grog went home to open her presents, with Biggs. And the rest of us trundled off down to Antiquity Halls. Except Joe, who went to the train station and didn't come in BUT HE WALKED DOWN WITH US. So it was almost as good. And Gavin went home too. Byeee Gavin!
<img src=http://img8.picsplace.to/img8/3/DSCI0017_000.JPG> Although judging by that picture he DID come to Antiquity Halls. I really have no idea.
And then Issy and Amy went I think. And Lucy and I went across the road to Ben - I think his name was Ben - 's house and had a spliff. And Sophie's ex-boyfriend was there which just shows what a small world it is. And some other people. I haven't smoked anything in about a month so I was really worried I was going to get giggly and annoying and thye'd throw me out the window or something. Luckily, they didn't. Then we came back down and I got really sleepy and then this guy Pooks or something woke me up by shouting in my ear which Jake found HILARIOUS because he's a bastard. And then people played pool, and Lucy got sad - we hugged and had a girly chat and she cheered up a bit and all was good in the hood once more. I don't really remember much else. Except for I had a bit of a dilemma at some point because someone said Ben was staring at my breasts so I zipped my coat up and he was like "Oh, now look what you did!" but after about 5 minutes - actually, more like 5 seconds I realised I was literally so hot I might pass out. Problem was, if I undid my coat then it was like "HEY, PLEASE, LOOK AT MY TITS!". But if I didn't then I was in danger of overheating and dying. LUCKILY after 15 minutes of careful consideration of the pros and cons of each option I sort of fell asleep and nothing mattered anymore. A bit later we went for another spliff and I was all chilled out. Just wanted to curl up on the bed and go to sleep, really. Eventually I left for my bus. Ended up talking to this absolute TWAT - I mean really. He was the embodiment of the word. I couldn't have hoped for anyone more hopelessly rich to have talked to me. He and his friend had been in Mood - ya, mood, you know Mood? Ya, god, it's ya. So good in thaaar! Ya, I love the tunes! Ya!. He asked me where I lived and when I said Wallingford he full on nearly wet himself with excitement. Mate, why the fuck else would I be catching a bus there at 11:30 on a Wedsnesday night?? He was asking me if I knew people and turns out he was a bit of a loser. ALTHOUGH HE DID KNOW BLAKE. Ahahaha. Bless. So he asked me if I knew Joe Ebbs and I sort of laughed and was like "oh, we used to go out" (we did...when we were about 13. HOHOHO!). And he practically jumped off his seat in excitement. Actually, I think he did jump off his seat? And he was like "OMG, LIEK, REALLY? OMG COS YA AAAAAALL THE GIRLS I KNOW TOTALLY LOVE HIM! Gosh...Joe Ebbs, ya? From Brightwell-cum-Sotwell. Ya? Tall? Ya? Everyone fancies him? Ya?". The thought of Joe as a stud stunned me into silence for a while. Then we played a game of who knows the most people (I so won). I made up some names, including "Fanny Twatbag" - whose brother he apparently knows. HAHAHA, WHAT A FUCKING RETARD?! "Ya, are they the twatbags from Henley, ya? God, you're at Henley college? Ya, you're like, so independent! Ya!". Anyway then he came and set next to me and fucking put Nickleback on and I nearly strangled him. He spent the next 10 minutes listening to it on repeat and s i n g i n g. What the fuck? Nickleback. So then I was like "Um, do you know this band called Coldplay?" and he said "Omg, ya! You know Coldplay?! God, i've never met a girl with such good music taste before! Ya! None of my friends have liek, ever even heard of them. Do you know, liek, Guns N Roses?". To be honest, I was begining to doubt he'd ever met a girl before. And I really wanted to openly mock him. At the same time, he was getting a taxi from Wallingford to The Oratory (who the fuck does that? That's literally like a million pounds just to go to his friend's house when HE LIVES IN WALLINGFORD) and I rather fancied a lift. Anyway, so then he asked me if I had a boyfriend and when I said no he couldn't believe it, because, you know, I'VE BEEN OUT WITH JOE EBBS! After a good two minutes of him braying about how he totally didn't believe me and me completely ignoring him he stuck his hand in my crotch. Doesn't he sound lovely? I felt quite sorry for him really and made him move seats. Then he kept throwing little notes saying "Sorry" on them, as if he thought he'd deeply disturbed me and needed to make up for such a violation of trust with a really cheesy apology that he probably saw on a film. Then his friend who was sat behind me projectiled all over the back of my seat, and the floor. Three times. Vile? LUCKILY the other one decided now was the time to give up and decided to finally stop talking. Got off the bus, managing to avoid the copius amounts of vomit and fell over. Didn't see my Dad so instead of making a quick and sober looking recovery I giggled inanely to myself for a while before twirling around a bit. FINALLY noticed my Dad (he'd been out for a meal with his friends and was giving me a lift home) and said "Gosh, that's such a stupid superstition! (i have no idea). Got home where I believe I was shouted at, but I can't really remember.
Oh, and then I drew a picture of Georgia but I've lost it.
I LOVE HER AND HER BIRTHDAY OF FUN.
xx |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
Today was nice, Aunt Pip came over. So Mum got all girly and giggly and it was funny. We've got a new home phone which you can text. This really posh woman reads them out, so I made Pippy text it saying "bugger". And then we did "shit", "arse" and "bollocks". Then we had to stop because my Dad came home. Hohoho.
Went to see my brother's football match, they let me do penalty shoot outs or whatever they're called at the end and I scored. So I skidded along the floor on my knees; my mother was unimpressed.
Then we went to Fornovivo and we ended up drinking rather a lot of red wine and I was shouting loudly about how one of the boys on my brother's team "runs like he's disabled. Seriously, it's SO spastic!". With a disabled lady sat right behind me. Oops?
We finished lunch at 4, just in time for the football. I'm in love with Jose Mourinho. I said something about his coat being really cute, and how you'd love to see it hung up in the house or something. And Pippy was like "Yeah, and his boxers on the bedroom floor...". This sort of RACY talk continued for a while, and then Chelsea scored. Mourinho did some funny sort of punching thing and I came toe-curlingly close to saying "Do you think he does that when he comes?" but managed to stop myself LITERALLY just in the nick of time and said "Do you think he does that when he...um...gets a crossword answer right?". Smooth. Anyway, my Dad's gone to the pub with his posse and some of my mum's friends are round so I think I might go and see if I can get some port/sherry/ethanol.
Hope everyone had lovely weekends, gizza ring if you're in Ox tomorrow. My brother and I are christmas shopping. Oh joy?
x |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|11:03 am] |
I am REALLY not sure about this hair. No no no.
Last night was a'ight. I got to touch Issy's special place so that was nice. And go in Stu's car. And drink. And I hung out with some 13 year olds on the bus and smoked a rollie Hannah's friend Emily made me and they thought I was "da bomb". They're right.
I don't remember leaving the Wheatsheaf and getting to my bus stop. Ohhhhhhh.
I'm still not sure about the hair.
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2005|06:06 pm] |
In Sociology t'other day we had a mock and I answered the wrong question. I've decided this is a good thing because now I have a pretty excellent excuse for when I fail miserably.
In other news, yesterday Ema, Emily, Clarke, Josh and I went to the art room and drew a big picture of naked Joe. We gave him a small penis and drew him eating shit. We then wrote "boyfriend from hell" and Ema's going to send it to him OR be a chicken and stick it on her wall. I had some poppers and prozac and then went to Geography and I found I got a C from the mock. This is actually quite good, considering. Alice got an A, which just goes to show that I SHOULD have copied her.
Stu made it look like I fancied Anneka-veiny-boobs. Although I suppose maybe saying "It's ok, I don't fancy you!" after staring at her breasts, giggling for ages when she came over and saying "Hello" in a really shy and moronic way didn't really help. Now "the lads" of Geography are convinced I'm a lesbian. Nicola kept trying to start conversations with me about how she'd sleep with this quite boy in our class who always wears an Oriel College hoodie. This made me feel quite ill because she looks about 12.
Didn't go to Clicks in the end on Friday, this is a shame because Luke and James were gonna be there and I love them now (even Luke) and we could have discussed their NEAR-FIGHT with Paul I-have-an-all-over-spray-tan-and-woman's-hair-yet-am-still-strangely-attractive. Went to bed at 10 and woke up at 2:30. I'm still tired. This is, as far as I'm concerned, insane. Need to do loads of History tomorrow for Monday or Robin will forever hate me. Except, I want to go out and get wasted tonight and be hungover and incapable tomorrow. I might go to Abi's thing for her friend at Antiquity Halls/The Bridge, I'm no longer up for psy-trance on any level. There's some parties but I want to go to Oxford and...um...pay for drinks, because that's really cool. IF ISSY WOULD ANSWER HER FANNYING PHONE MAYBE WE COULD DO SOMETHING. Maybe I'll text Fa. THERE'S A THOUGHT!
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|06:15 pm] |
TODAY WAS SO FUNNY AT COLLEGE.
it's weird to think I'm enjoying my education - it's all well good. except my bloody fucking bus driver. cue vendetta.
Emily and I had poppers before English. I spent about 10 minutes pissing myself, then fell asleep. Then she text me and we went and had more and I came back in and stared at the light and my hand for ages. George and gay-but-in-denial-Charlie were absolutely loving it. Ben held my hand when I was asleep because he's properly lovely. After the lesson Emily, Zoe and I went and had some more. This led to me actually being unable to walk properly and collapsying hysterically in front of reception. smooooth. I rang Ed when we had our second dose and left an answer phone message. I know I laughed a lot and that's about it.
Sociology was hilarious. James and I had a foot fight and played noughts and crosses. Abi told me because we had a foot fight I was "dirty" and would "probably end up as one of those people on that channel 4 programme on the farm where the people fuck dogs in sex swings". Obviously, she's completely right. Gutted though. Mock on Thursday. And a Geography one. I am so screwed.
Hugged *******. Danced to The Kinison with some guy I don't really know and got chewing gum stuck on my sleeve. Also discussed poo with Lou and Cara. Cara and I have a History date on Wednesday; well up for that.
ALSSSSSSSSO: Emily and Ema got my purse back. Love them rather!
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|07:39 pm] |
On Friday night I went out in Reading for the first time ever. At first, I thought it was going to be excellent because I'd been proper excited all day, and more importantly, Ema, Emily, Henry and I got the back seat of the bus AND I managed to get on without paying the fiver you're supposed to! Things rapidly took a turn for the worse when we got to Ema's and I discovered I'd lost my purse and the £30 in it. I paniced, and Ema requested I sort out her parting. I met Ema's younger brother. He's ace. We beat up Scooby Doo together and he told me he liked me more than he liked Ollie. Also a shout out to Shanks the dog who was fit. In a canine way, naturally. Ema and I left a bit earlier than necessary so we could retrace our steps and see if I'd dropped my purse on the way to hers before we called for Emily. WE EVEN ASKED AT SAINSBURYS! Alas, this was to no avail. So then we went to Emily's. I should point out now it was pissing it down, approx. -3 degrees and I had no jacket. Furthermore, as well as £30 my purse contained a £850 bus pass. I have no idea how I'm going to get to college tomorrow but everytime I think about that I feel sick.
That aside, we got to Emily's house, watched Eggheads or something with her parents and then ran to the bus stop. I showed them my velocaraptor run (it's immense) and screamed "I'M SINGING IN THE RAIN!" I also repeatedly demanded they cheer up. We got to the bus stop and after about 15 minutes discovered we had yet another 15 minutes to wait and should have gone back to Emily's. Ah well. To keep ourselves warm we sang Queen and My Sharona. The other woman at the bus stop looked fairly afraid and I felt quite sorry for her. Eventually after what felt like noticeably more than half an hour the bus showed up. The mystery woman was revealed to be a lovely German girl from my History class (oops), and the bus was leaking but apart from that everything was still fine.
We got off at the station, which then I thought was scenester central (how wrong I was...) and met some people and squealed and failed to tell people apart. Emily and Ema nearly killed a small and very nice girl called Kirsty, and I think I rather confused Luke. He was clearly overjoyed to see me though, the old...cad. ?
THEN we dodged traffic and had most of our make up washed off on our way to Clicks. We got in and I was well surprised - I was expecting it to be a bar with a dancefloor or something but ACTUALLY it was a bar 6 million pool tables and 3 huge tv screens showing Kerrang. There was also some carpet which I'm convinced they must have stolen from a train. Saw the two Claire's and their friends, then I met Ollie and Hannah who I actually now adore and some other people. Went into the toilets and had rather a lot of Hannah's vodka and mixes offered by various be-drainpiped hotties. I should point out now that although at this point Clicks was fairly empty, the entire of the clientele were scenesters. We came out and sat down with Ollie and Hannah and I suggested we played Irish Snap. Hannah introduced a rule where instead of saying "snap" we had to say "SAFE UP MY BUM!". Fit scene boys next to us asked to join in but we were so into the game we actually refused. Then the gig downstairs at Face finished and THEN I understood the true meaning of the words Scenester Central. It was like a plague.
After that, it's all a bit of a blur of meeting people and twiddling strangers' piercings and blagging drinks but it was very funny. Met Lou's boyfriend Ollie and he was like "OH MY GOD YOU'RE FI!!" which made me feel super special. When Lou came I nigh on squealed the place down. Joe was there. Um, Emily and I wandered around in a semi-tipsy semi-drunk state being confused and grinning at strangers. I attempted to find some Mayfair but the best I could do was B&H. At one point I heard someone say "Safe TBS Matt!" and I turned round and was like "OHMYGOD TBS MATT I'VE NEVER MET YOU BEFORE BUT HARVEY TOLD ME ABOUT YOU TODAY BECAUSE YOU WORK WITH HIM IN H&M AND ONCE YOU GAVE HIM FREE JEANS!" and then we talked about god knows what and he got me a snakebite. Cara, Hannah, Ema, Me and some other random girls started singing "My Humps!" when we were sat down. Well, the one verse of it we knew, over and over for at least 10 minutes. Some amazing punk called James gave me lots of Guinness. We had to keep going in the boys toilets because there were no mirrors in the girls and Fit Tim (YES, THAT'S RIGHT. - HIM - ) came in one time and we had a funny conversation and he hugged me lots apparently and I kept saying "that's just dandy!". Or so I'm told. I told Amelia about the hugging and she's too jealous to even respond. Hahaahaah. Um, then at some point James (not the punk one. Although ACTUALLY he's quite punk too. Sociology James) got his cock out for me and Emily in the middle of the bar and then made us touch it. We were quite drunk and so agreed to quicker than I'd like my mother to know. Then he couldn't do his jeans up so I had to do them for him. FYI: thrusting actions do not make this job any easier.
Sat with Matt TBS and his friends who's name's i've all forgotten again for a bit and talked to some other people. Kept going up to Tim and grappling for shit excuses for conversation - e.g "IT'S LIKE. ME AND YOU AND JAMES AND LUKE AND THEN A COUPLE OF OTHER PEOPLE ARE THE ONLY NON SCENE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET!". Smooooth! Then I was talking to this other boy who was punk and nice and gave me his drink and I've totally forgotten his name, and I only really remember talking to him because as we left he ran and hugged me. Or more accurately, attempted to grope. And then he was like "OHMYGOD, YOU'RE WEARING HUGO DEEP RED!" and then he told me it was his favourite smell ever and then I decided he was alright && maybe I should pull him. Unfortunately, I was distracted by this girl Sam falling down the stairs, fucked, and decided that I would help her friends help her instead, as she seemed a more worthy cause.
Theeeeeeen we went somewhere. And saw Hannah and some people. And then we went somewhere else and saw Ollie and his friends and emily bought me chips with ketchup. yum. (no chicken nuggets though :[ )
in the taxi queue i put my arm in emily's top and wouldn't take it out even though she was in considerable pain.
and then i lay on the floor in the taxi laughing and tickling them and entertained myself quite well.
if i had not lost my purse it would have been pretty fucking excellent really.
next day i went to poole to see family. winked at strangers in cars to amuse myself. was grumpy and obnoxious with bill and julia. then mum and bill picked pat and steph up from the airport and they came and me and stephanie were all like EEH. she's my second cousin and she's spanish and 22 or something and grows weed and was a private detective and lived in india and is basically safe as fuck. i taught her and jack irish snap. then we played cheat but i sucked. um, at the end of the evening she gave me her necklace and i gave her my pink, plastic, 78p penguin ring. Hahaaha. I should get some non tacky jewellrey. shame i gave it to her, i was saving it for jason and everything! yeah i was pissed off though cos I missed going to the coven AND laurence/jamie/ethan's which involved kareoke and a lot of people i've not seen in ages.
today was shitty and my mum shouted at me and she's stupid.
COOOOOOL!
and our internet's fucked.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2005|09:10 pm] |
I thought Saturday night deserved a mention. But, I'm not sure I can be entirely bothered. So here's what Fa has to say about it:
"last night was awesome. Met up with Fi, Issy &Amy in town, led them back to my humble abode, and then we headed to town and met some of Amy's friends in the pub and got the bus down to Tesco, where vodka, lemonade and pink fairy cups were purchased. Was pretty mashed by the time I got in the Zodiac, due to queue-drinking (almost as classy as park drinking, BUT NOT QUITE). The gig was awesome, possibly because I was quite drunk, but YEAH it was amazing. Despite having two of The Bled's albums, and liking them, I'd never really got into them, but they were so good on stage that I think I'll have to listen to them properly.
Trashy was well good. Didn't go upstairs to transformation, but I remember a lot of love being shared, Fi talking to a druggie guy who wanted to like do her in the loos?! little Alex being thrown out but like none of us knowing WHY?, ermmm fried chicken, dancing like we're from da ghetto with Issy to Justin Trousersnake, talking to George's new girlfriend about bollocks, and being generally shitfaced. OH and we ended up with some random guy called Frank!? that Fi had pulled, in our house. Nobody actually really knows how he managed to come home with us."
in fairness, i didn't think the bled were that amazing. fall of troy definitely were though. anyway, fuck the gig, it's all about trashy/transformation and dancing to the point i nearly died on the dancefloor. i kept accidentally grabbing strangers testicles, only to have them attempt to grind with me, pretty ricky stylee. gosh? I'm considering writing to chicken cottage to complain about the lack of chicken nuggets. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! I also remember a boy in the toilets with a nosebleed who refused to listen to my excellent advice, being the "nose period" expert I am he really ought to have. fell over twice within the space of twenty seconds. span a lot. got joe's ring stuck on my finger and nearly spasmed with panic that it'd be there FOREVER! fa saved the day though, with huge amounts of vaseline. i also walked in on a girl pissing, and in turn nearly wet myself when i saw the "fi loves georgia!" sign had "MYSPACE!!!!!" written next to it in massive letters. despite seeing it last weekend, it was still h i l a r i o u s.
I took some pictures that I don't remember:
brilliant quality, right?
and smoked the most enjoyable rollie ever (thank you issy) sat on my bed with a hot chocolate. It was like heaven, except I'd imagine heaven smells less like cat litter.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! I managed another rather beasty entry. Might as well quickly mention Blake got thrown out (ehehehe) for anyone that didn't know and that I referred to a girl at my college as "FREAK FROM MY FORM!". niceee!
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|07:42 pm] |
Friday was ace. I resisted the temptation to go to the pub/Nello's with my family/ice disco-ing and whatnot and stayed in for a hardxcore night of charity television. Peter, Jordan and the song from Aladdin made it 100% worth it. Was quite upset to hear they sang it at their wedding. I always wanted it for my first dance. Thus, I am as sophisticated as Jordan. In fairness, she was at least 17 when Aladdin came out so basically she's a twat and I can still have it.
Saturday I went shopping with ma mere. It's the first time in living memory that we've gone shopping together without one of us storming off in tears, so WELL DONE US! Marks&Sparks were RUBBISH on the bra front - no pun intended. I thought if you went to buy a bra, in M&S, with your mum, then you were like guaranteed to find a non-likely to go bobbly/properly fitting/vaguely non disgusting dream of a creation. Clearly, I was wrong.
That night was a bit of;
- I like your dancing
- I've got epilepsy
- Epilepsy's well in fashion!!
there was also a lot of dancing, alcohol, and...well. just loads of alcohol and dancing really. Was AMAZING to see like the ENTIRE crew out, although missed Fa, Kirsty and Sadders. Basically it was excellent, being a tramp with Dave on the Cowley Road is clearly where it's AT. As is Amy being so sexy she gets 6 chicken wings for a £1.
and over-friendly south africans.
and god knows what else.
it was generally immense. Sunday was not the pleasantest of days, although I saw some banging tv and had a series of ultra-long phone conversations, which I love.
Yesterdaaaaaaay I can't actually remember what happened. Heard ball gossip. Laughed at that. Spoke fleetingly to Matt Man[n?]. Take back all I said to Rhiannon. Can TOTALLY see why she was "interested" [read: scarily obsessed].
Todaaaaaaaaaaaay. I missed my bus. && then I missed another one. And then I hung out on a bench for hour and forty-two minutes. Rang Lauren and she's up for Reading on Friday. Told me she's having a party on Saturday and basically gutted I can't go because we love each other and go to the Boathouse together and pick up strange men. Her last party [which actually was her Mum's, and I was allowed to be invited because I'm excellent] was so good I fell down the stairs and chipped my tooth. And destroyed their bathroom. And cried down the phone to Joe S and made him break his foot. And asked all my Dad's mates for cigarettes. And got my skirt stuck over my head. BUT ANYWAY. Sucks I can't go. Then an old lady let me help play with her dogs which was safe. OH AND BEFORE THAT I SAW RORY AND HE'S DYED HIS HAIR BLACK! I wanted to be like "mate! goffs together!" but i didn't want lauren to think I wasn't listening intently so I waved instead. Then I was really bored but LUCKILY I had my amazing matches AND my camera!:
 
amazing, right?! Adam stole the best one though. The cunt.
and then I discovered I had a bus ticket so I started a fire. This is the bus ticket after the fire had gone out:
As you can see, it was a pretty hench fire and I had to put it out because the heat was getting too much.
Then I took a picture of myself so I could show everyone how much fun I was having, should they wish to see:
it was quite lucky I did this, because as you may have noticed I had mascara all over my eyes and no mirror so WITHOUT THAT PICTURE, I was in serious danger of going into college looking like a retard.
Oh, and this is the somewhat depressing view from my soggy, moss covered bench/log on stilts:
Then I finally managed to catch my bus [although the bus driver had to let me on without paying because I begged him and evidently he has a heart underneath all that beard. i'd lost my purse and spent about 15 minutes spazzing and throwing everything on to the floor in a desperate attempt to find it. Unsurprisingly, it was in my pocket. On the way to college through Henley I admired a very attractive man who was smoking a cigar outside starbucks and shouting to his friend "ah, fuck it! put the whole 10 grand on that one! it looks like a lucky bugger!". I couldn't decide if I loved/hated him for that, so decided to listen to some more Bloc Party.
Then I got into Geography and we played a super fun game that involved blu tack and such like. Fit Tim and James decided to spend a large percentage of the lesson pretending to talk about me and then WETTING themselves when I acknowledged them. Obviously, I'm going to mess their faces up next time I see them. Except, not Fit Tim's because that would be a crime against humanity. I missed Amelia and Scott, but actually managed to do all my work so that was handy.
In lunch time we played card games and went into WHSmith so I could show Freya the Noise Next Door are fit now. They well are. Then we had History and Hannah was tired and I drew her and Danni pictures and Ben was fuuuuucked and so I tried to make him get the giggles and Kev DIDN'T sulk! Even when Tommy told him to "shut up you IDIOT!". Trust, when a retard/spastic/Hungarian calls you an idiot it IS really annoying.
Ummmmmmmmmm, then it was Sociology and that was funny because Luke was fucked, and Emily think Malak was too but we couldn't quite tell. So we openly stared and laughed at him and he probably thinks we're not quite so safe as he used to. OH AND THEN WE HAD TO WRITE A STORY AND WE DID IT IN MYSPACE SPEAK. And I made one of the characters say "cunt" and next lesson someone's going to have to read it out. HOHOHO.
After Sociology we hung out in D5 and pissed ourselves at this poster and acted out the book titles.
My favourite was "HOW FIT ARE WE?" because when I read it I thought it meant fit like HAWT. Naturally, I was wrong. Then we took one of this title because we think it will be an excellent caption for a certain picture that I STILL HAVE NOT SEEN!
 [the person in it looks disabled, y'see.
and theeeeeeen I spent the bus journey talking to Freddie and Turtle so Zo's going to be properly gutted she decided to skive because she thinks Freddie is yummy. He is, and he's all dangerous because he does fire tricks. Ooh. Our conversation was mainly about salmon and ketchup. Yeah! Ketchup! What a conversational gem.
WOW. So you hear virtually nothing about my fun saturday night - i got married by the way, we used Lee Smilex's ring, which was tastefully engraved with marijuana leaves- , but all the minute detail of a Tuesday! brilliantttttttt!
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|08:22 pm] |
alasdair let me read my report today.
oh, fuck arse shit wank bollocks tit gay cunt?
every single one says "fiona has handed in no homework", except for english which says that i've done one bit.
apart from that they're quite good - i'm a pleasure to teach, amazing in every way, gifted and also supa-fly etc.
still though, i sense as soon as my mum recieves it it'll be no Internet/going out/money/oxygen for me eveeeeer again?! like, after Didcot she's got it into her head that she's gotta go a bit CRAZY and lay down the law and so on so that i become a model student.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha. pillock is a funny word.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|08:41 pm] |
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AT MANKIND!
and i mean specifically mankind.
i don't think i know a single girl who doesn't currently have at least one guy making everything harder for her, fucking with her head and whatnot. what's wrong with them?!
seriously...enlighten us??
EDIT: Andrew, obviously, is perfect. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|06:25 pm] |
if The Nutters Next Door let another fucking firework off I swear to fucking god I'm going to go round there, inform them that they are fucking unstable and if i'm feeling DANGEROUS I might even slap them about a bit.
fucking fuckers. FIREWORKS NIGHT WAS LAST WEEK. Swear they're aiming all the fireworks at out house, as well. Desperate attempt to burn us down.
ugh.
xx. |
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